felinejumper | cql 43 / grief / domesticity (Reply)

ANYWAY SO EPISODE 43 OF CQLIS REALLY A HEAVY HITTER, HUH. REALLY. A LOT. THERE. GOING ON.

Putting a cut in for reading pages & brief black sails references; mostly FEELING things.

completely nuked the grief fic i've been toying with, which is fine, because my lwj characterization was transparently obviously just a projection of my own personal grief
will i still be writing untitled grief fic? you betcha. sixteen whole years to feel SAD with no relief ever :) just like real grief :) :)
little wangji BYE.
i cannot stop thinking about domesticity and the LIQUOR and his SMILE WHEN HE COMES BACK WITH THE LIQUOR. Like. he finally gets to not just protect wwx with his sword, he gets to bring him little treats. lwj makes time for treats now! he has Grown Up With All The Trauma
There is something coherent there about domesticity, though. I'd like to think through domesticity here and the explicit calls to domesticity in black sails [redacted for spoilers and it being 2am]. I'm also....so lost on cultural knowledge and gender and the playing of roles; there's clearly so much being signaled that I can't pick up on, and I'm sure there's a ton of shit here about lan wangji pouring drinks for wwx that i am DYING TO KNOW ABOUT. But mostly: they live together now, what's that about. What's that like. They've both been looking for home for literally ever. what's a home if not a place where you each have your own special and particular drink and your boyfriend knows exactly how you like said drink and you can take the uncomfy metal parts out of your hair and you don't have to be performing all the time. what's that.
for now i will be thinking about james flint holding a teacup and hanguang jun (oh no, NAMES and this crossover!) looking at song lan WOW.

:) good night i love them :) if you feel so inclined to drop me fic that is safe up to ep 43 i will kneel at your feet in gratitude for ten thousand years (literally...anything? anything.)